Monday, April 10, 2006

Gooey is Good?

DONNA [4:28 P.M.]: Our friend Keryl's oldest daughter got married last Saturday. We drove from New Jersey to Atlanta-- yes drove-- to attend the wedding. Now you know these are people we really love. And I can't remember the last time a wedding made me feel so joyful. I'm still smiling. And you actually cried. You never cry at weddings.

Virginia [4:30 P.M.]: You weren't supposed to see me balling. Because you're right. I DO NOT CRY AT WEDDINGS. I don't usually even LIKE weddings. But this was absolutely a different feeling. It all felt so warm and right...and so not just about the day, but about life and family and all that stuff. It reminded me of what weddings and families are about, or at least what they're supposed to be about. It felt real, not like it was a show---or showing off.

DONNA [4:35 P.M.]: DG: Yea. It was definitely a love fest. The bride headed down the aisle so fast her veil got caught in the door and snapped her head back. And The groom could hardly wait to say "I do."

Virginia [4:36 P.M.]: That was hilarious. How he "I doed" before the minister was through asking him

DONNA [4:35 P.M.]: And I really believe they do…Love, honor, cherish, respect, like, trust, enjoy. . . all that good stuff.

Virginia [4:36 P.M.]: Yep. I believe it too. But I believed it the first time I saw them together.I'm so surprised at myself. I'm such a cynic about marriage--as you well know. But this time I think it's exactly what it's supposed to be...a lot like Keryl and Harry.

DONNA [4:40 P.M.]: DG: Well, yeah--the bride's parent's are about to celebrate they're 30th anniversary. And we're not talking about Ozzie and Harriet. They are some hip, seriously funny folks. And you know that sometimes they have to get on each other's nerves. I mean, I've been married for 18 years and there are just times when your spouse is annoying as hell, but you can still see their love bubbling around them.

Virginia [4:40 P.M.]: The whole weekend was so right---1700 miles on the road notwithstanding--- it really made me wonder if---if I would do it again. Should the circumstances arise of course!!! LOL

DONNA [4:41 P.M.]: WAIT--stop the presses. You mean I MIGHT get to be a flower girl after all!!!

Virginia [4:43 P.M.]: I didn't say anything about any daggone flower girls...I SAID it made me think, that it might actually be worth considering...under the right conditions of course. I know I said I'd never do it again, and there are no plans in that area, but.... I'm still having a warm gooey feeling from this---and I gotta tell you it's kind weird.

DONNA [4:44 P.M.]: Gooey is good .And when Harry toasted them by saying that he could see that his daughter-- step-daughter really, although there's nothing step about it-- had become the same kind of special woman that her mother is, with that kinda catch in his voice, well, I think every woman in the room was done.

Virginia [4:45 P.M.]: I was done. I kept thinking about my own father...at my weddings.

DONNA [4:46 P.M.]: Hmmm, I'm sure he felt very different on those days. Wedding one and wedding two, I mean. Your husbands were about different as grapefruit and gravy.

Virginia [4:47 P.M.]: Indeed. sad but true. But two is enough weddings don't you think? Despite the lovely, gooey weekend, maybe i'm just not the marrying kind. i've tried it, but it doesn't seem to work for me...kinda like roller coasters. other people love them, i'm not one of 'em though

DONNA [4:51 P.M.]: But maybe you'd like the merry-go-round, or the ferris wheel. We don't all have to like the same ride to enjoy the amusement park.

Virginia [4:52 P.M.]: i do like the ferris wheel! so no we don't have to like the same ride, hence the slim possibility of your being a flower girl—woman. but i promise...IF i find that man...the man... the one man... and we end up doing the do...the i do, the we do...i can't think of anyone better to be my flowermatronofhonor. after all my sister has already had the privilege twice! so i'm sure she'll be glad to leave it to you next time...IF there's a next time.

DONNA [4:57 P.M.]: I'm honored. So is it that some of us are wired to be couples and families and others are meant to be-- what-- lone wolves? Free agents? Singletons.

Virginia [4:59 P.M.]: maybe. who knows what is meant to be? i think the problem happens when people all think they're supposed to do a certain thing a certain way at a certain time. it creates pressure that i'm convinced forces a lot of bad decisions in the relationship area. I mean we all know tons of people who are married and shouldn't be together--people who don't even LIKE each other.

DONNA [5:03 P.M.]: Well, these were certainly two people who had taken their time--they're in their late thirties and it's a first marriage for both of them. There's something to be said for letting yourself grow up before trying to hook up with somebody else.

Virginia [5:04 P.M.]: Yes, because as romantic as it sounds two people can never become one person. You have to bring your whole, grown up self into a marriage or a long term relationship. Then you can have two whole people working together, building, supporting, growing.

DONNA [5:06 P.M.]: That works for me and I really believe it will work for them too.
posted by DeBerry and Grant at 6:16 PM

7 Comments:

Blogger JEFF 46 said...

Sometimes it helps to be successfully single before we choose to engage in a serious relationship.

12:28 AM  
Blogger DeBerry & Grant said...

Absolutely! You have to know yourself and bring a fully realized "you" to a relationship. Ideally two do not become one. Two remain two who grow and go forward together.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous vanessa said...

As Donna asked, "...So is it that some of us are wired to be couples and families and others are meant to be-- what-- lone wolves? Free agents? Singletons."

I believe this is true. At least for me. I've never been married, however, I don't think I ever wanted to be married, although I always talked about getting married, but nothing could ever bring me to that point.

I'm definitely a loner and very happy in solitude when I want to be. I love companionship, but then I enjoy some ME time, probably most of time!

I agree there are too many marriages that don't belong together. I'm very happy for the couple you all mentioned. It's good that true love still exists and is as powerful as it was designed to be.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Candace said...

so glad you two shared the birth of the blog with me! Even happier that you wrote about the gooey wedding - if you hadn't, I probably wouldn't have heard a thing about the wedding for a while. Wish I could've heard the toast that Harry made. Keryl and Harry are special, as are their children..and their friends!!! teehee. love ya.

1:20 AM  
Blogger JEFF 46 said...

Sometimes we need that alone time. We do get set in our ways. It's also healthy to be in a relationship that allows two people to grow spiritualy and personally. As we get older this probably becomes more difficult. When we are youger we are more willing to compromise.

12:20 AM  
Blogger JEFF 46 said...

The older we get the more we get set in our ways. Young people are probably more willing to compromise.

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My parents are model of that phylosophy. Mom has her life, Dad has his, and then they have a life together. They've been married 51 years and they still sparkle when they think no-ones watching.

4:09 PM  

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